How Do I Pray for a Nation that Hates Me?

TW: police brutality, racism

November 24^th, 2014. 

I was a senior in college and I was sitting in my film class. I can’t remember the film that we watched but I remember scrolling through Twitter as it played in the background. I scrolled past a few memes, some celebrity news and then there it was. On November 22^nd, 2014, Tamir Rice, a 12 year old boy had been shot dead by a white police officer. He was playing with a fake gun and the officer shot him with no hesitation. 

Everything around me blurred. 

They killed a child. How could they kill a child? 

A few days before this, my brothers had just turned twelve. I immediately saw their faces. Tamir could have been my brother. In a way, he kind of was. I could barely contain the tears burning in my eyes. I ended up leaving class and calling my sister and just sobbing. I felt helpless. A few months prior, in August, Michael Brown, an 18 year old boy, was shot and killed by a white police officer. He was unarmed. A month before that, in July, Eric Garner, was killed by a white police officer by chokehold. He was also unarmed. Why were they killing us like this? It felt like it was never going to stop. And it hasn’t.

 Breonna Taylor was shot in her sleep by white police officers on March 13^th, 2020. Daniel Prude, while experiencing a mental health episode, was suffocated by white police officers, March 23^rd, 2020. George Floyd was suffocated to death by a white police officer on May 25^th, 2020. Rayshard Brooks was shot by white police officers, June 12^th, 2020. I don’t have to fully paint it out for you to see the pattern. This is not news to anyone that looks like me. Black bodies have been used as target practice since we were kidnapped and shipped like animals to this country. As the years have passed and gone on and countless more stories like this made headlines, it was hard for me as a Christian to love my white brothers and sisters. It was becoming exhausting having to go into work and help people who had the privilege of not having to think about their lives being at risk every day. All while I had to act like I was fine, even though I was still thinking about George Floyd being suffocated for 8 minutes and 46 seconds. When they left their appointments, they could drive in their cars and not worry about getting pulled over. Go to a store, walk around and not be followed, they could just live with no worries.

We had a White House administration for four years that was caging human beings for simply wanting to live here. There were laws put in place to specifically ruin the lives of different minorities. Travel bans, people bans, it was insane. I was seeing how selfish and evil people could be in this country and I was tired. The Capitol riots on January 6^th, 2021 really sealed the deal for me. 

White supremacists stormed The Capitol in Washington, D.C. in an act of terrorism as a result of the recent election. Donald Trump had lost the election and Joe Biden was the new president. That did not sit well with those who had supported him the last four years. So they decided that they would storm a government building with armed weapons, break in, and then, steal confidential government documents and pursue chaos. Most of them left unharmed besides being pepper sprayed. One woman died and a police officer was killed. It wasn’t the fact that they got away with it that shocked me. It was the fact that these people were taking pictures, stealing government property, destroying property and security just…They just let them. 

Google Black Lives Matter protests, that were peaceful by the way, and you will see that people were pepper sprayed, hit with rubber bullets, arrested and jailed. The National Guard was set up at one recently in Washington D.C.. Police violently attacked peaceful protesters, protesters who simply wanted justice for the Black lives that were lost at the hands of irresponsible police officers and government officials. And these men and women broke into the Capitol. With ease. Google the videos and watch as they smash a window or two and literally take over. 

 I started to ask God “Why should I pray for these people? They don’t care about me, they would kill me if they could, why should I care about them?”. He led me to this scripture:

“First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.  This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth” 1 Timothy 2:1-4 (ESV)

At first, my response was “….okay?”.  But then I asked myself, do I trust that God will be just? Do I trust that He is just? God does not waver in his character and who He is. Justice may not look like how I want it to look like. I may not live to see the world change. But I do believe in the power of prayer. So if this is what I can do in the current time, I will do it. I don’t have all of the answers. I’m not trying to tell you what to do or how to respond or react. I’m not saying to just sit idly and not do anything. Please continue to fight for justice, use your voice, continue to vote, and research your government officials. I can’t control what our leaders do but I can control how I respond to their actions. God is the only changer of hearts. There are countless events in the Bible when the leaders at the time were evil and tyrannical but God’s people still served and obeyed God. If you’ve made it this far, please hear me when I say, this is not easy. There are days where I don’t want to pray, days where I just rant my frustrations to the Lord. 

But I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. I will continue to pray and believe that God’s justice will be done in this country. But I also will remember that even if I don’t see it in my days, there will be a judgment day and in the end, we will all stand before Him. 

Where do you find your hope these days?