Hello! Hallo! Bonjour!

Who are you?

I’ve always hated that question growing up, along with “tell me about yourself”. It always felt like it had to be deeper than what it’s asking. I’m Arielle, but my sister calls me Relle, hence the name of this thing. I’m a daughter, sister, friend, graduate student losing her sleep as the days go by, a girlfriend, and a lover of Jesus (you should try Him. He’s pretty cool). I’ve always been said to be shy and quiet when really I’m just an introvert and I’d rather observe than exert my energy for no reason. Please do not small talk me to death. 

I’ve always placed myself in the background. Notice how I didn’t say, I’ve always been put there. I, for some reason, always felt safe in the shadows, preferring to be in the background than have a part in the main event. I never went for anything that would require me to be the center of attention. I loved being in the chorus but never went for solos, even if I knew that I could do it.  Speaking in front of people was always difficult and sometimes it still is. Wanting to avoid anything to do with public speaking, I would scan the syllabi of my courses just to make sure that there weren’t any oral presentations. This year at Thanksgiving, I rehearsed what I was gonna say at the table in my head so that I wouldn’t mess up and I still ended up crying.

 What was I so afraid of? 

I was always afraid of embarrassing myself, of what people would think, of the “did I sound smart”, etc. Things that honestly didn’t matter. Now that I’m 27, I’m learning not to take myself so seriously. I’m not the only one who doesn’t know what they’re doing or talking about. We’re all learning as we go along. The moment that this year turned into 2021 felt like a good time to reset. 2020 was a very complicated and difficult year for so many people including myself but I honestly believe that God wants me to just create and release the things that He’s put on my heart. Things that I’ve kept hidden away and haven’t shared with the world out of fear.

This is the year that I stop being so afraid of what the opinions may be, of what people might say, and just do it. So I’m starting this blog. No one may read it. Maybe 3 people will consistently read it. I don’t know but I’ll do it for those three people. Or it could be the greatest blog to ever grace the internet that inspires hundreds, thousands, or even millions. I really don’t know. But what I do know is that I’m going to stop sitting on my gifts. I’m gonna stop letting anxiety rule my mind and stop me from doing the things that I love. I’m not going to wait for people to support my ideas or dreams. I am just going to do them. Me writing that is keeping myself accountable. We love to start out strong but then get tired in the middle. But this year I want to finish strong and look back and be like “heck yeah I did that and it was awesome”.

So if you’ve kept reading and made it this far, thank you. 

Welcome to Relle’s Ramblings, it’s nice to meet you.